no you cant smoke seaweed
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
Can you explain the plethora of sunflower seeds in the dryer?
Well, somebody (me) put on reindeer antlers, crawled around on the floor, and meowed at people... So yeah, I'd say it was "one of those nights"
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
First night in my new apartment and I threw up in front of my neighbors door. Starting off this relationship strong.
My heart says buy the granny panties, but my vagina says don't throw in the towel yet.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
Randomize
