I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
woke up to 35 texts all saying im cheating on her
me and last nights hook up spent two hr. figuring out a reply we went with i love you..
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If only he'd realize the fondness I have for his genitals.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
