R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
i feel like i'm a professional at blowjobs i can deep throat an entire spatula
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
Just puke out the sadness. Like a fuckin dragon.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize