Needless to say when I told my parents they loved me less
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I woke up at 4 am to my roomate peeing all over my clean laundry. He thought he was in the bathroom and yelled at me for being in the bathroom with him while he was peeing.
I have my vibrator between my thighs and I'm listening to high school musical. That kind of high. We're all in this together.
When was the last time you wore pants?
Time is relative.
And pants are optional.
I'm good. We walked you back to my apartment and you demanded to eat the sandwich I made for him
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
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