I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Just took an adderall with a shot of tequila while doing my makeup in the parking lot at work before I go in. I'm also late. They're so lucky to have me.
I just sneezed weed. Kinda wanna try to smoke it.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
The ranger made you choose between a ticket and pouring all the beer out since it was a state park.
I've never seen you that close to tears as you poured out 30 beers.
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Just found out the last guy I hooked up with is being held in a federal prison under suspicion of stealing 175k.
well true... there's not a real discreet way to masturbate in public
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