Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
um, yes. it's my birthday, of course there will be acid.
He got tattooed, peirced, and we're pretty sure he got rufeed by that fat chick. He was like a walking spring break stereotype.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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