we have pet lesbian snakes
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
dude i just made a burrito by wrapping 2 packs of scooby snacks with a fruit roll up. im so high
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
you flashed my boyfriend last night so i tackled you to the floor. you may be a bit sore.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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