Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
I want to make a zoo with you.
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
Liz is crying about burritos again.
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize