Taylor Swift is so right about you.
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize