I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I'm blazed at jack in the box and my order number is 420. I wish everything in the world made this much sense.
See it, we're so close, i smell your vagisil
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I'm covered in sharpie and the girl next to me just said something smells like fried food. Hint: it's me. Why am I in class?
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
whole 5th of capt = waking up in the shower after 2 hours and the whole house asking why i'm STILL in a towel. and me having nothing to say
Randomize
