I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
If turning my entire backyard into a slip-n-slide is wrong then I don't wanna be right
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
He wants to take me instead of his girlfriend to the happiest place on earth... By that He meant Vegas. My morals are just loose enough to think this is a good idea
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
