Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
until he told me my vag was like a juicy apple and he loved eating it, yes, i really did think we were both sober.
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
You sent me a naked picture of you as a child? How is that normal
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
