it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Is "blowjob enthusiast" a bad costume?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
Sidenote: do you recall your "give me the d" chant
I put tequila in my salad dressing yesterday. Step the fuck up.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
Randomize
