i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
It's 9am. I'm four lines ahead of you already. Wake up.
I think shooting the BMW with the bow and arrow is when our group became the evening's antagonist
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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