I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
You know you had a bad blackout when you forget you held the stanley cup.
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
We're having chugging races with long island ice tea, I won. To often
After a long night of drunk sexting I have to the ninja roll at the front door to see who showed up.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
