my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
At what point did you actually think that you could throw knives safely?
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
Well that didn’t go as expected.
I mean, it ended in you giving each of them a blowjob, so it kinda did.
Randomize
