I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Sounds good. I'm hoping to have my life together by next week but you never know I guess.
"He didn't answer my snap so I know he's arrested"
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I just want to see you and express my feelings in a drunken manner, but in a sweet way like my english accent.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
