I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
he literaly had industrial grade plastic underneth his blankets
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
Hey, this is Travis. I just so intelligently deduced that I am in a college dorm somewhere in western oregon. Probably WOU, based on the process of elimination.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
But on the bright side the arresting officer was just as hot as I remember and I took a pretty okay mugshot.
I want a musical about memes.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
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