i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Sometimes I think my vagina thinks its a penis.
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Drunk in burger king. Having it our way. Free fries. M&m sundaes.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Throwing up into Nora's potty chair while simultaneously having beer shits was truly the highlight of my Christmas season.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
The next morning I found her spread eagle asleep on the living room floor and he was asleep with his head in her crotch. I needed a ride and had to wake them up.
Randomize
