I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's 2:30 on a Friday afternoon. It's snowing and must be about 20 degrees outside. I'm sitting in this class with 300 people using up every ounce of energy and willpower not to puke all over the girl in front of me. This has got to stop.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Also, I found out that my dad has the name of every boy that I've ever dated and their physical description, car type and tag number stored in his computer.
Apparently Angela went missing once and he says he learned were to look first and that it's best to have information on hand.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
It would be magical, all 2 min of it.
i can do like, 15 pushups. 20 if i listen to dubstep.
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
