You said you didn't deserve to walk so you started crawling down to your room
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
MY BRAIN IS OSCILLATING. DOES THAT EVEN MAKE SENSE
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
How have I seen you throw up on yourself 3 different times, yet we weren't Facebook friends until I accidentally hooked up with your ex?
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
