Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
i preemptively threaten to cock slap your kids if they are snobby yuppy bitches
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
im mourning your vaginas lack of frictional upkeep
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