just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Lets just say I tried to pinky promise the cop... So I was fucked up.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize
