what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Um I think everyone drunk and there's some douche on violin.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
We peed on campus in the middle of the tailgate and then hit on a married cop that asked you to stop touching him
Was Mr. ROBOT good? I missed it. I just fucked dental hygienist on the trampoline in my backyard
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
Randomize
