Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
Good. I hope they all got E.Coli from snorting coke off of some homeless prick's asshole.
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
Randomize
