I haven't shaved so I have to behave myself. I'm going to do this from now on.
The best revenge is premature balding
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
I just saw at least a dozen senior citizens on roller blades. way to drunk for this.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
He listens to me complain and in return I send him naked pictures. It's a win win situation
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