when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
Just for future reference: milk is NOT a good mixer no matter how drunk you are.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
It's hot as dicks out. Lets get drunk on the roof and make pterodactyl sounds at people.
Hey, YOU try working out drunk every night! Besides, I think at least one of those bruises is a hickey.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Most people that see those numbers aren't going to realize what they mean and those that do will think 'oh those must be her favorite hockey players' and not 'oh she wants to see those hockey players fuck each other'.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
