No she wasnt mad! I told her that I "mis-remembered" nailing her friend.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I lost the right to judge tonight
have fuck
*fun
actually forget it have a fuck too it'll do you good
Randomize
