oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
no, i remember trying to staple my nipples together. I just can't figure out where the hell stapler came from.
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Please come and kill me with a brick you dont even have to be nice about it just smash myfucking skull in this is the worst hangover ive had for at least a week
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
I just threw up in the bushes and my gardener started clapping...
I’m on my way to fuck the new hockey player
Ride him like a Zamboni
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