I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
If thou doesn't answer thou phone thou shall receive a barrage of Dick pics. It's the eleventh commandment.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
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