you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
He told me I look like a librarian today. I hope that means he has a librarian fetish or something
Disregard. He says he said I look "agrarian" today and just proceeded to compare me to Mumford and Sons. Fuck it, I'm going home and drinking
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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