i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
thank you for tagging me in all my pictures as "skank" and yourself as "made by the hands of God"
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
He put up a Facebook album attempting to sell off their Harvard furniture. Items for sale include: his friend, a broken lamp, an item described as a 'carpet and/or sleeping bag', a pair of paint stained cargo pants, size 'Tyler', and a self proclaimed $3 bottle of wine, which he is offering for $2
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
I'm in Home Depot and I can feel the straight bob the builders staring at me. I bet it's like I have a rainbow arrow pointing at me.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize