This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
it was a weeks worth of wine for $20. it would have been fiscally irresponsible to not buy it.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm so drunk. Remember me this way.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
