SECOND walk of shame from the westside Hilton, SECOND foreign family w kids staring at me in my dress, glitter purse, spiky heels and booze breath. I said I was going to church. More confusion.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
it's sad when i round the corner and the dog goes directly for the liquor store
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
I guess our biggest consolation is that we haven't woken up in a hottub with a dead dude. Yet.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I had sex with him in the back of my car in a duck onesie. I'm worth something dammit.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
hey, i didnt think i could be this stupid either but you dont see ME getting all judgemental about it
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
Sorry I missed your birthday party. I caught a dick and rode it to O-Town
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