Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
Dipping chips in queso and thinking of your beautiful face
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
You took my underwater blowjob virginity.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
I can't ever look his wife in the eye again. She will see right through my soul to his dick pic.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
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