We all know the best way to start a relationship is greeting while at least one of you are intoxicated, dual facebook stalking, and a two week long game of 20 questions via texts to 'really' get to know each other. In that order.
I wouldn't have it any other way. It's like a fairy tale!
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
so he woke up after being passed out and yelled that he had brought back moon rocks for everybody...
What is a reasonable amount of condoms to keep in my condom wallet without it being creepy that I have too many?
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
Trevor is horny so he just called me to tell me all the things that he would like to do with his future wife. That's a new one.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
His birthday is on cinco de mayo and he doesn’t drink or like tacos. What a waste.
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