dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
You made a glowstick headband with a helium balloon tied around it and climbed a tree in high heels. I was impressed.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Randomize
