all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
So the chick throws up over the rail from the 15th floor at the sky bar and I knew I would take her back to my hotel.
This must be what defeat feels like to Tom Brady today. I bet he wishes he could barf up all of his bad decisions from yesterday, too.
We kept trying to bring you to the hospital but you had a tantrum and kept saying you would never be Miss America
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
Randomize