I stood up and a chip flew out of my shirt and landed in the chip dish. I just walked away.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why were you staring at her like that over breakfast?
Because I was eating with a spoon to remind her that she threw up on my hand while she was MAKING me spoon with her after our drunk sex. She got it. Don't worry.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
