So some girl kept staring at me and giving me these weird looks. That's when I realized she could probably hear the Mulan soundtrack playing on my iPod...
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
