At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Sweater Vest, Chin Strap, Beard, sporting a white Beret- Please don't ever let me be THAT guy.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
Things that don't wash off in the shower: black eyes and hickies.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
