I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Used tampon in my purse. That from you?
I drank almost a whole fifth last night. Woke up with blood everywhere wearing a "stereotype this" tshirt. How fitting
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
but he gave me mouthwash after the bj. no ones ever done that for me before.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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