I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Can you rollerblade?
No, why?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
You've changed since you got that strap on
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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