Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
I have found random beers stashed in my purse and microwave... Apparently I thought 2015 was gonna have a beer shortage
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Just letting you know that while you peed your pants in that guys jeep, The orgasm I had made my hair fall out... Good morning.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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