Sry I called you an 8
I wouldn't call it sex. It's like when you put a plug in a socket half way. It's not all the way in but it still turns on the light.
is 1am too late, or too early to make bacon?
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
dude we were making out and she kept singing the americas next top model song. you wanna be on top?
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
I just almost got out my car and drop kicked this one chick over parking. Welcome to the first day of spring semester.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
He could only go twice. I need a guy with more stamina and is less married
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Randomize