I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We knew it was a good time to leave when you spilt the salsa on the ground and were trying to put it back in the jar with your hands
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
Just got a message from a drag queen on okcupid. I cant even catfish successfully.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
on a campus of 30,000 people, i should not be able to see every single guy I've ever hooked up with at one party.
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