Your mouth is God's brothel.
You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
I've never seen anyone as high as you were.. you collapsed onto the kitchen floor hugging a tub of ice cream. You named it phil.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
Randomize