Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
im having a threesome with these popsicles
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Also, they sell weed-chocolate covered strawberries. For the romantic stoner.
That was one of the best texts I got today
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
Twas still the Saturday before Christmas \nAnd it’s still fucking snowing\nAnd Steve wished he slowed down \nOn all the fucking drinking
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
