She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
you cant ever make fun of my bong's stick on moustache again. its the reason the cop let me keep it and my weed.
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
What procrastination leads to: I have submitted a third of my job applications this week with a BAC that would get me arrested
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
Randomize
