If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
He played a tape of his mad rapping skills after the final...his rapper name was Mad Stylz and he rapped about all the pussy he got in the 90's. I love Sociology.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
He wants to know how I lost my bra in his pants....id like to know too
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Thanks for letting me in last night. I was drunkenly sleepwalking.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
No, supporting your unemployed boyfriend IS NOT what credit cards are for.
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
Dude, you fell into a tree, and both of the tables, AND the window well... Resilient aren't you?
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