So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
I cant wait for the day that I tell my daughter I named her after my favorite porn star.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
So stoned I forgot I was masturbating and went to go get a cookie.
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you were curious as to how many pounds of bagged marijuana can fit in the trunk of a 2010 Chevrolet Aveo, we now have the answer
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
I woke up in the middle of the night on all fours turning circles in my bed! No more patron for me!
Boredom is so much more tolerable when you're stoned off your ass.
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