id be glad to
Get out...Run...Or there's going to be a dick in your mailbox
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We designated a driver... But it was me..... So we designated another driver
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
Randomize
