all i remember thinking as i was puking my intestines out is : wow.. this toilet does look like it's from the future.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I was afraid she wouldn't be able keep up but I woke up in a bathtub, she called me a pussy and made me pancakes.
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I was asked last night if Magnum makes a XXL..... I don't think I've ever broken this many condoms in my life
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
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