Can I use cash for clunkers to trade in her boobs for a new set of 18 year old tits?
Its worth a shot.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
It's not vacation until I get called "disgustinly sexy" by an fat woman whose older than my mother.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
You put a bag of sliced onions in the microwave then screamed, "voila, onion rings!"
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
Randomize
