That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
go do what you do best...puke behind churches
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
AND I JUST GOT FUCKING DAUGHTER ZONED. NO. I'M DONE. I HATE BOYS. ASEXUALITY HERE I COME.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
No, just kidding. But your faith in me to throw a lesbian bridal shower makes me think I an pull it off. To the LGBT bar!
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Randomize
