Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
No, but its not like diarrhea. i swear its like my intestines had a secret bank account and i just punched in the right pin.
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I threw away my jacket instead of washing it, the jungle juice stained me more of shame than red food coloring... i have never been that white girl wasted before...
This gem of a conversation has been brought to you be weed
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
I "liked" his changed relationship status just to show him I'm ok with the fact he found someone not as pretty as me
Buying drug test kits off amazon. And qualifying for amazonSmile donation to a kids hospital feels wrong and funny at the same time xD
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
