Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
