the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
where does the pee come out of this thing
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
YOHYFONSO!! YOU ONLY HAVE YOUR FIRST ONE NIGHT STAND ONCE!!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
Then you fell out of your chair, looked right at me and said, "You are sooo drunk."
Randomize
