That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
ok what kind of idiot turns down casual afternoon sex?
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
Its really bad when you fall asleep at a stop light outside the hotel and you wake up to a small spanish limo driver knocking on your window to tell you it's a green light
Man, I must say, having known you since preschool, Eiffel-Tower-ing her would've fully completed our journey to brotherhood.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
I know. he thinks we're 'meant to be'. No we're fucking not. God wouldn't give my soulmate a pencil dick.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
i'm eating chex mix in the shower while texting. i feel accomplished.
Why are you hurting?
Tried to drink all the beer in Nashville last night....failed.
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
