I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
Seriously dude...who threw up on Michelle? She's been crying for like an hour
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
I would just like to point out that a bandaid led to sex. The lesson here is always have a bandaid in your wallet.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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