I'm trying this new thing, it's called standards
it only takes four glasses of wine for me to ride an elephant with a stranger.
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
Just saw a field sobriety test being administered at 730 am, I now know I do not have a drinking problem
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
Small children cheering my name. I am not a decent enough human being to feel comfortable with this.
I let my cat eat the pepperonis off of my pizza while I was still eating it. That's the level of tequila drunk I got last night.
God I adore you.
oh btw ur so lucky i got stoned and passed out or we sooo would have bedazzled your dick while you slept. just sayin.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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