just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Unlimited sex for unlimited netflix. I can deal with that. I think this is the first prostitution deal for netflix ever.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
You peed on someone's house because they had a Wisconsin flag.
Trying to figure out the logistics of putting my laptop speakers on this plate with the last slice of pizza. Too drunk to move the plate. Not an option.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
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