Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
She told me her last name, which as you know is my #1 turn-off.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
just drove past - why are you walking towards the shop in your pyjamas?
Can't talk, on a quest for bacon.
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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