I hope mine doesn't look like that
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
Please tell me how the stripper got back to Sarah's from the trailer park
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
Randomize
