You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
My way of showing team usa support, bronze: handy silver: bj gold: home run. God, I'm patriotic
Well my dad thinks I wake up at 3 or 4 am every day. Really it is just all the booty calls, but I'm glad he thinks I am so motivated
New found love of volunteering, when there's free wine available at all times. Good times. And I get to to feel good about helping people.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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