Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
Just pissed by glowstick light. Bad idea.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
Literally had a conversation with the pizza as to why it was a bad idea to reach in the back seat and grab a slice while driving. The pizza was right, it was safer to just wait until I got home.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
What are you feeling right now?
Idk. I just flashed a porch 🤷🏼♀️
So not in the best place to do an emotional inventory
Randomize
