i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
He's paying me $45 to clean his room and $55 if i find the oxy that he lost.
My hispanic family watching the world cup is getting too intense for me. a lit candle was just thrown at me because i walked by the tv.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I was informed this morning that I took all my clothes off and ran around the whole apartment complex. Being as they just moved in, welcome to the neighborhood.
Randomize
