Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
You act as if I'm the first person to pee in the Taco Bell drive thru at 2 AM, I'm sure a lot worse things have happen in that drive thru than my urine.
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
6 beers, 3 orange crushes, & half a fire ball later & you get my alter ego.
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I just wrote the Drag Queen from Saturday Night on FB and apologized for licking her. Weirdest thing I have ever typed...
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
