Soap is not a condiment
I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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