she looks like luggage that fell from a plane
Just got a call from someone claiming to be my son . How do I initiate a conversation. Tell me about the last eighteen years. And by the way who is your mom again?
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
Randomize