So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
Randomize
