therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
We dared each other to drink Arbor Mist, and I waterboarded someone with tequila.
There was a half eaten cheeseburger on my coffee table. Guess I made it to McDonald's.
I know that we've never been that tight but I want you to meet my cat before I move.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Prepare for massive TMI but anyway long story short I have a Swiss flag band-aid across my balls.
What a patriot you are. How'd it happen?
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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