I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
Dude my date hates me, Im on a rooftop full of Turkish people, and Ricky Martin is blasting on the radio. I was wrong earlier when I said I have my shit together
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Randomize
