So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
It's 10am, I'm at grocery store buying booze b/c the bf just told me that he didn't "technically" break up with his ex.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Dad stumbling and puking in the White Castle parking lot = Father's Day success
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
The neighborhood cougar just purred at me while I was doing yard work. I’m terrified and tumescent
Randomize