Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
Of course drinkings involved. They don't call it alcoholism because we eat too many skittles.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
I just opened a pickle jar stoned as fuck. I clapped for myself. I feel like wonder woman.
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
