Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he just stuck his car key in my belly button, made car starting noises and pretended like i was revving my engine?
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I now have a bottom rung on my kissing scale. Like I can say "Well. On a scale of Matt to Braxton he was probably a Zach." It's the little things.
Didn't think the day of being the oldest in a club would be when I'm twenty one. Even the bouncer looked surprised when he ID me.
My vibrator box just fell off the table and hit my cat in the head, he is a little stunned. Good thing I went medium size
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
I showed him my machete and then we made out in the kitchen
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
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